So, what do we do? What can you say? The cup is empty. My sister called tonight. The 1st time in nearly a year she had come unravelled. The unravel you can hear in her voice. Too tired of fighting these feelings. Fragile, an egg shell. We talked. I told her it's ok to have these feelings and to get upset. It's ok. I also told her it's hard to give her the advice she needs. Her loved ones want to protect her so we say things to make it ok. I told her expressing her feelings to strangers sounds easier. They will listen and not try to solve it. I think it's time.
Now what? How do we fill the cup that has gone dry... I think it's the happy warm memories we have of Jack vs. the sorrow we feel from losing him. It's laughing and enjoying and smiling at the times we shared. Jack was such a funny guy. I can remember the countless times we used to go bowling before we had kids and then we carried on the tradition with our children.
I remember his sarcasm. His sincerity towards older people. He taught me how to drive a stick shift car. I remember of course that he missed our wedding while he trekked across the USA, doing something he loved – riding his bike. He loved food. We had BBQ Pork Sammies tonight. Jack would have approved.
He simply adored little Katy. He used to pick her up into the air every time he saw her. Or I would catch him leaning over to talk to her and patting her head, so gently. He always had the time to talk to her, or to all kids for that matter.
As we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus this weekend, we need to resurrect the memories of Jack and put the sorrow behind us. Sorrow is destructive and the memories will keep us hydrated as the journey of life continues.
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