45 + 7 days

Turning 45 is a time for pause. It's a wake-up call that I'm half way through the "good years"... older and wiser... younger and more active ... kids needs have shifted into verbal and emotional combat. Career in place... can afford nice things. So why do I feel anxious. Maybe it's because life is speeding up (a week has already gone by) and there is so much living to do. 20s were all about having fun, no responsibilities too big. 30s were a happy blur of raising babies. But the 40s club is something different. Life pauses. Sort of. People close to our age are dying. Grandparents are gone. Our parents are the next generation. What mark do I want to leave on this earth one day... so I begin to make my to do list, or bucket list as my 15 year old, Hannah is doing with her friends (though I have no desire to pee in Depends underwear)...

I started a cookbook 2 birthdays ago. It's a collection of family recipes and recipes that we've found and fallen in love with. But really, 2 years and the book isn't done. If I were the client, I would have fired me by now.  So I will continue to move on and place this closer to the stove so one day the book will be complete.... before I'm 50! And lets not forget the photo books from 3 vacations ago and the kids yearly photo books (5 years behind)..and getting my business, GiddyGill up and running...so much to do.

So what made me happy today...not the rain... not dropping specimen off at the hospital to see if my daughter has a parasite... or listening to someone hurling in the lobby...I will say that the Caribou non-fat Latte I treated myself to tasted wonderful. And working and laughing with my dear old (yes, she's in her 50s) friend Jules is always good for what Happy Is...and thinking about what I need to get done in the next 5 years makes me really happy. It fuels a sense of youthful energy that I have passionate work to complete. And that makes me happy.